Have you ever felt like you’re on a treadmill that never stops? Working harder, achieving more, yet never quite feeling like you’ve arrived? That gnawing sense that no matter what you accomplish, it’s never enough?
You’re not alone. And there’s a reason for this exhausting cycle.
The Invisible Treadmill We Can’t Escape
Bob Cooper thought he had everything figured out. A stable job, a loving family, a comfortable home in a picturesque neighborhood. From the outside, his life looked perfect.
But beneath the surface? He felt like an imposter. A fraud living a carefully curated existence that wasn’t entirely his own. Despite ticking all the boxes society told him would bring fulfillment, something was profoundly missing.
This isn’t just a fictional character’s dilemma—it’s the human condition. We’re all climbing mountains, guided by maps we’ve inherited from family, culture, religion, and society. Maps that promise if we just reach the next level, we’ll finally feel whole.
But what if those maps are wrong?
Two Paths: Working vs. Living
There are fundamentally two ways to approach life:
Path 1: Working For Approval
- Constant striving to prove your worth
- Performance-based identity – you are what you achieve
- Anxiety as your constant companion
- Comparison as your measuring stick
- Never enough as your daily mantra
This is the false map. The lie that fulfillment can be found in anything other than Peak Sozo. The lie that material success, power, and even the affection of others can fill the void within.
Path 2: Living From Grace
- Rest as your foundation
- Received identity rather than achieved
- Peace as your companion
- Freedom from others’ opinions
- Sufficiency as your starting point
Everything has changed. Security isn’t something to be attained. It’s something you already have. Love isn’t something to be earned. It’s something you already carry. Worth isn’t something to prove. It is something you already are.
The Telltale Signs You’re Still Working For Approval
How do you know which path you’re on? Here are some unmistakable signs you’re still trapped in the approval cycle:
- You apologize excessively – even for things that aren’t your fault
- You can’t say no without feeling guilty
- Criticism devastates you rather than informs you
- Your self-worth fluctuates based on your latest performance
- You’re exhausted from maintaining your image
Sarah had spent years chasing approval. She didn’t call it that. She called it being responsible. Being a good wife. A good mother. The one who held things together. But deep down, it was more than that. It was fear. Fear that if she didn’t do enough, she wouldn’t be enough.
Sound familiar?
The Root of Our Striving
The moment the first ones stepped off the path of the Creator, shame became their master. It whispered to them that they were not enough. That they had to become something more in order to be whole again. And so, their children—their descendants—began building their lives around that belief.
Most of us don’t even realize we’re striving. We’ve been conditioned since childhood to believe that our worth depends on our performance. This belief is so deeply ingrained that it operates below our conscious awareness.
We learned to cover our shame with achievement, with titles, with wealth. Each success became a fig leaf—a desperate attempt to hide the nakedness we felt inside.
The Freedom of Grace
Kinsman knelt beside him. “You let go.” Bob stared at the map in his hands—the thing that had guided him his whole life. The thing that had whispered in his ear was that he must keep climbing, keep striving, or he would never be enough. With a deep breath, he let it fall. The wind carried it away. And for the first time in his life, Bob felt something he never had before. Freedom.
This freedom isn’t about abandoning responsibility or ceasing to work. It’s about working from a different place—from fullness rather than emptiness.
When you live from grace:
- You stop trying to earn what’s already been given
- You cease striving to become what you already are
- You begin operating from abundance rather than scarcity
- Your actions flow from love rather than fear
- Your identity becomes unshakable regardless of circumstance
The Mirror Moment
For the first time, he wondered—what if he stopped? What if he finally let go?
The journey from working for approval to living from grace begins with a mirror moment—when you finally see the exhausting cycle for what it is. When you realize no amount of climbing will ever be enough.
This isn’t about trying harder to be “more graceful.” It’s about recognizing you’ve been climbing the wrong mountain all along.
Practical Steps to Start Living From Grace
- Identify your false maps – What beliefs drive your striving?
- Challenge the voices – Question the inner critic that says you’re never enough
- Practice receiving – Allow yourself to be loved without earning it
- Embrace your true identity – You are not what you do
- Act from fullness – Make decisions from a place of abundance, not lack
Kinsman raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it? Look at yourself. You’re standing here, breathing easily. Not fighting. Not grasping. Just… being.”
The Choice Before You
Every day presents the same choice: Will you climb the mountain of achievement, desperately hoping to finally feel complete? Or will you embrace the truth that you are already whole?
Bob exhaled, shaking his head. “My whole life… I thought I had to fight for everything. That if I didn’t keep pushing, I would be nothing.” Kinsman responded, “and, much of it had become an unconscious effort. And now?” Bob turned back toward the vast landscape below. He had spent so long living from the outside in—letting his circumstances dictate his choices, letting other people’s approval shape his identity, letting fear and lack define what was possible.
The mountain will always be there, tempting you to climb. But what if you chose, just for today, to live from grace instead of striving for approval?
What would change?
Who would you become?
What freedom might you find?
Want to go deeper? THE CALL workbook is your next step. More than just questions, it’s a guided journey to freedom from false maps and the exhausting climb for approval. Click here to begin your transformation.