“I’m doing everything right. Why do I feel so empty?”
The question came from Sarah, a devoted church member who hadn’t missed a Sunday in fifteen years. She served in three ministries, tithed faithfully, and knew her Bible inside out.
Yet behind her perfect spiritual resume, she was exhausted, joyless, and secretly questioning whether any of it mattered.
Sarah was trapped in what I call “toxic faith patterns”—religious habits that appear godly on the outside but actually separate us from the vibrant relationship with God we were created for.
The Hidden Epidemic in Modern Christianity
As someone who has worked with thousands of believers, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: many of the most committed Christians are often the most spiritually depleted.
Why? Because they’ve substituted religious performance for genuine relationship.
In THE CALL, the main character discovers this truth through a powerful metaphor: he’s been climbing an endless mountain, desperately trying to reach God, only to discover that God had been within him all along.
Let’s examine the ten most damaging patterns that might be stealing your joy—and more importantly, how to break free from them.
1. The Approval Addiction
The Pattern: You serve, give, and participate in church activities primarily to be seen as “good” by others and by God.
Why It’s Toxic: When your worth becomes tied to spiritual performance, you’re no longer motivated by love but by fear of disapproval.
The Breakthrough: You are already fully approved in Christ (Ephesians 1:6). Your service should flow from acceptance, not for it.
Practical Step: Before serving in any capacity this week, declare: “I serve from God’s love, not for it.” Notice how this shifts your motivation and experience.
2. The Comparison Trap
The Pattern: You constantly measure your spiritual growth against others, feeling either pride or shame depending on how you stack up.
Why It’s Toxic: Comparison destroys joy by keeping you focused on others’ journeys instead of your unique relationship with God.
The Breakthrough: God’s work in each person is custom-designed (Philippians 1:6). Your path isn’t meant to mirror anyone else’s.
Practical Step: Identify one person you frequently compare yourself to. When the comparison urge arises, pray blessing over their journey and gratitude for your own.
3. The Certainty Obsession
The Pattern: You need absolute certainty about every theological question and become anxious when faced with mystery or ambiguity.
Why It’s Toxic: Faith requires trust in what isn’t fully seen or understood (Hebrews 11:1). Demanding complete certainty leaves no room for growth.
The Breakthrough: Mature faith embraces both conviction and mystery, holding truth with both confidence and humility.
Practical Step: Identify one area where you’ve demanded absolute certainty. Practice saying, “I don’t have to understand everything to trust God in this.”
4. The Checklist Christianity
The Pattern: Your faith has become a series of boxes to check: daily devotions ✓ church attendance ✓ avoided sinful behavior ✓
Why It’s Toxic: Relationship gets reduced to routine, and connection with God becomes mechanical rather than meaningful.
The Breakthrough: God desires relationship, not religious ritualism (Hosea 6:6).
Practical Step: Replace one “have to” this week with a “get to.” Instead of “I have to read my Bible,” try “I get to hear God’s voice today.”
5. The Hyperactive Conscience
The Pattern: You feel constant, low-grade guilt even when you can’t identify any specific sin, believing God is perpetually disappointed with you.
Why It’s Toxic: A hyperactive conscience keeps you focused on your performance rather than God’s presence.
The Breakthrough: In Christ, condemnation has been removed (Romans 8:1). God’s conviction is specific and restorative, not vague and shaming.
Practical Step: When generalized guilt appears, ask: “Is this God’s specific restoration or shame’s general accusation?” Reject vague shame while responding to specific conviction.
6. The Emotional Suppression
The Pattern: You’ve been taught that negative emotions (doubt, anger, grief) are unspiritual, so you suppress them to appear “strong in faith.”
Why It’s Toxic: Suppressed emotions don’t disappear—they go underground, eventually erupting in destructive ways.
The Breakthrough: The Psalms demonstrate that authentic faith includes expressing the full range of human emotion to God.
Practical Step: Write an “uncensored prayer,” expressing exactly what you feel without religious filtering. Remember, God can handle your real emotions.
7. The Blessing Bargain
The Pattern: You believe that if you do everything right, God is obligated to bless you with health, wealth, and protection from suffering.
Why It’s Toxic: When inevitable hardship comes, your entire faith foundation crumbles because it was built on a transactional relationship.
The Breakthrough: God’s love is covenant-based, not contract-based. His presence remains in both blessing and trial.
Practical Step: Identify where you’ve been making “if/then” bargains with God. Replace them with “even if” declarations (Daniel 3:17-18).
8. The Spiritual Classification System
The Pattern: You mentally rank believers (including yourself) based on perceived spirituality, creating a hierarchy of “more spiritual” and “less spiritual” Christians.
Why It’s Toxic: This creates pride or discouragement and prevents authentic community where all believers recognize their equal need for grace.
The Breakthrough: In Christ, there is no spiritual hierarchy—only one body with different functions (1 Corinthians 12).
Practical Step: Look for what you can learn from someone you previously classified as “less spiritual” than you. Their perspective may be exactly what you need.
9. The Perpetual Penance
The Pattern: After moral failure, you punish yourself with extended guilt, believing you must “pay” for your sins before accepting God’s forgiveness.
Why It’s Toxic: This pattern subtly suggests that Christ’s sacrifice wasn’t sufficient—your additional suffering is needed.
The Breakthrough: Forgiveness is a gift to be received, not a reward to be earned through sufficient self-punishment.
Practical Step: If you’re carrying shame from past sin, write it down, speak forgiveness over it, and physically destroy the paper as a tangible act of receiving what Christ already purchased.
10. The External Focus
The Pattern: You focus almost exclusively on external religious behaviors while neglecting the interior life of the heart.
Why It’s Toxic: Jesus reserved his strongest rebukes for those who maintained perfect exteriors while neglecting inner transformation (Matthew 23:25-28).
The Breakthrough: True spirituality flows from the inside out, not the outside in.
Practical Step: Spend ten minutes in silent reflection, asking, “What am I trying to prove with my religious activity?” Listen for the gentle conviction of the Spirit.
The Common Thread: From Climbing to Resting
In THE CALL, the protagonist makes a life-changing discovery—all his exhausting efforts to climb to God were unnecessary because God had already come to him.
This is the foundational shift that liberates us from all ten toxic patterns. We move from:
- Striving to earn → Resting in what’s given
- Proving our worth → Discovering our value
- Performing for God → Partnering with God
As one reader of THE CALL shared: “I realized I’d spent thirty years trying to climb to a God who had already come down to me. The freedom I’ve found in this truth has transformed everything.”
Your Journey to Freedom Starts Now
Breaking toxic faith patterns isn’t accomplished through more effort—that’s just exchanging one form of striving for another.
True freedom comes through awakening to what’s already true:
- You are already loved completely
- You are already accepted fully
- You are already equipped sufficiently
Your spiritual journey isn’t about becoming worthy of God’s presence. It’s about becoming aware of the God already present within you.
When this truth takes root, joy returns—not as a fleeting emotion, but as the natural expression of a life lived from divine fullness rather than human emptiness.
Which of these toxic patterns resonates most strongly with you? Your awareness is the first step toward freedom.
Want to go deeper? THE CALL workbook is your next step in breaking free from performance-based spirituality and discovering the relationship God always intended. More than just questions, it’s a guided journey from exhausting religious effort to liberating grace. Click here www.graceempoweredliving.com/call to begin your transformation.
Written by, Scott Johnson is an author of thirteen books who helps people break free from performance-based spirituality. Drawing from over four decades of ministry experience, Scott empowers others to move beyond obstacles toward a fulfilled life through God’s grace. His passion is helping people discover they are already approved, already loved, and already complete in Christ—no exhausting religious performance required.